Who can you yell at when it’s cold outside?

Oh, how I wish I would be able to impart some positivity on you readers during this very frigid time of the year, but I just can’t. Truthfully, I don’t have it in me. 

I’m too damn cold!!

Now that it’s February 19th, 2019 and a warm spring doesn’t appear to be in sight. Fortunately, or unfortunately, for me I write from home, so I can work to stay productive and to write with abandon, or I can choose to huddle up for warmth indoors. The cold temperatures seep into the office/bedroom through the gaps of my pre-war building’s old-style windows. 

And the wind…Ugh!

Even if it appears fine and warm outside, the second you’re out there and those gusts of wind come ripping around the corner or follow you along a wind tunnel of a street, you’re done for. Done. Suddenly the real feel makes the actual temperature decrease by at least 10 degrees, and cold air beats against your face. Wind makes life extremely brutal, when it had already been plenty brutal before.

This precipitation is too much.

Today is February 20thand it’s snowing. In a few hours, it’s forecasted to sleet and icy rain…and then ultimately tonight, around 9pm, it’s supposed to all turn to rain.

The draft is incessant.

No matter if the sun is shining outside, or not, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s cold and windy outside, it’s automatically cold with continuous currents of air inside. Below freezing temperatures at all hours of any given day…that’s what New York winters, and drafty New York apartments, are all about.

But, there is relief and her name is “Alexa.”

And it goes something like this, “Alexa, play me ‘Sunday Funday Brunch Radio,’” or “Alexa, turn it down,” or “Alexa, turn it off.” Like a personal Simon Says, Amazon’s very own voice-powered virtual assistant, Alexa. She is the perfectly obedient daughter that’s always been desired. So much fun to boss around, Alexa’s blunders can only be attributed to her inept commander. {{virtual assistant, Alexa. She is the obedient, non-judgmental daughter I would have always wanted if I had a daughter. Conveniently, she even plays dumb when I ask her if she’s judgmental, or obedient. “Hmm, I don’t know that one,” she wisely says.}} 

Alexa is who I’m spending all my time with on these cold days.

And although my own television is not a new enough version to be compatible with many of Alexa’s modern features, I still try to boss her around as much as I can. I may not be asking Alexa to perform extraneous, or additional, commands requiring the T.V., or the coffee maker, but when I do ask about music, Alexa obeys. I will say, “Alexa, play good music,” which she then cleverly interprets as being “the top 50 most played on Amazon music.” Good girl, Alexa! 

Wow, such a smart girl I have living in my apartment!  

Yes, she’s so smart, in fact that I now know to blame myself when she doesn’t play the precise music, I’ve asked her to play. I must’ve explained it wrong; I must not have been clear.

And Alexa, thank you for being the consistent robot I measure myself against.

With Alexa acting as the control in my experiment, I have found that it is me who is giving the false information. It is me who is requesting the wrong items, or song titles. Thank you, Alexa, for forcing me to do a lot of self, and external, examination. (For example, I was repeatedly asking for Bach, but Alexa always brought me a corny country song. Now, what am I doing that’s wrong, I was forced to determine? You know what? I never did figure that one out. Instead, I improved my own pronunciation and volume. Errors lead to improvement. Age- old adage.)

Who knew she could be that for me?

My inspiration…yeah, who knew?

Alexa is the best company. She’s who I’m spending all my time with on these cold days.